My Special Beauty Routine Weirds Out My Roommates


Beauty comes at a price and I don’t mind looking ridiculous behind closed doors if it means I will look like a million bucks when I walk out of the house.

On Tuesdays, my schedule sucks.  I have class until 10 p.m. so I don’t have a whole lot of time to do homework or relax.  But because today is Tuesday, and I leave for Sicily on Thursday, I thought what better day then today to do my special beauty routine.

This involves:

  1. Hot oil treatment for my hair
  2. Facial hair removal
  3. Eye brow plucking
  4. Facial steam
  5. Facial mask
  6. Relaxation

I came home and after eating dinner I got ready for my hot oil treatment.  I cut out some holes in a plastic garbage bag so I could protect my clothes and I proceeded to cover my hair in Vatika oil.  After it is completely covered I stood in front of a microwave for about 15 minutes, alternating hot towels.  Everyone who saw me was like, “are you dying your hair again?”

Then, after I showered and removed the oil from my hair I did some facial hair removal with Sally Hansen’s facial hair removal cream.  It smells disgusting, and I have to put it right under my nose so it is not a pleasant seven minutes.  After I wipe the cream off with a damp paper towel and I am good to go.  My roommates are pretty much accustomed to me waltzing in the room with a white cream mustache. While I wait, I pluck my eyebrows.

Afterwards, it is time for a face steam.  This is my favorite part because I used to watch my mom do it all the time when I was a kid.  With a pot of boiled steaming water, hover over the pot just far enough so your face doesn’t burn but the steam can still reach it.  Drape a shower towel over your head and prepare for pure relaxation.  Your pores will thank you too.

Finally, right after you move away from the steam pot, pat dry and smooth over a thick layer of your favorite facial mask.  I use Mary Kay’s clay mask, because my mom always used it.  When I have a daughter, you can bet I will pass down these beauty rituals to her too. Leave the mask on for 15 to 20 minutes and rinse off with warm water.

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(Look at those gaping pores..)

Finish with a light night cream and get a good nights rest.

When people question my extensive and strange beauty routine, I always say “It’s an Asian remedy” if you are Asian you understand. If not then…well..it will always be strange to you.

Hey, Asians always look good when they are older anyways.

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